We all embark on that journey called parenthood with the best of intentions. There is certainly plenty of advice out there on how to bring up your baby, train your toddler, encourage your child or tame your teenager but there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that can prepare a parent for the hell that is addiction. One minute you’re picking your little ones up from school and helping with their homework, you’re even prepared for that Kevin and Perry moment when your lovely child turns into a terrible teenager; but when you’re faced with a child whom you no longer recognise, a lost, sick, miserable being then there is no book you can read, no expert to turn to for advice on how to deal with it. 

When our son started taking drugs there was an element of denial – certainly on my part. I also tried to protect him, fiercely defended him, and probably didn’t want to believe what was happening. The trouble is that things don’t get solved that way and problems begin to escalate. Money starts to go missing, visits from the police become normal and all sorts of strange people come and go from the house. Oh and the arguments you have as a family; we definitely had some monster rows! It’s certainly not the life you envisaged for yourself, and your otherwise ‘normal’ family, in your comfortable house in a sleepy old market town. When life turns into an episode of Jeremy Kyle, and it dawns on you that your child really does have a serious problem, you can only stumble around desperately trying to do something about it – ‘try’ being the operative word. I think I’ve lost track of the amount of times we took our son to one rehab or another, usually going back to pick him up again because he had been chucked out within a few weeks. As a mother watching addiction affect not just my son but the whole family, was an utter nightmare. The truth is that everyone suffers, there is no simple solution and you feel helpless.

One thing I’d heard about was a theory called tough love and I thought perhaps it was worth giving it a go? Tough love meant realising that trying to help was just enabling and, as much as you love your child, the only person that can tackle the addiction is the addict. Believe me it is the hardest thing in the world for a mother to turf her own child out of his home and it’s even more difficult when things don’t immediately get better – or indeed they start getting worse! Our son got involved with some really nasty people, was putting himself in danger and was becoming quite accustomed to run-ins with the local constabulary. However, the tough love was beginning to have an effect and because of reaching rock bottom, including a short spell in prison, he was trying very hard to get clean. I remember him talking about some lads that used to turn up at NA meetings. These lads were, as he described, happy, tanned and sporty and they always arrived in a minibus laughing and joking. He told me they were a real inspiration and he wished he could be like them. This sounded like positive talk for once, which was encouraging, but equally treated with caution. Drug addicts are brilliant liars and extremely good at telling you what you want to hear.

After receiving some tough love, and the consequential living rough followed by prison, our son was advised that there might be some help available at a treatment centre called Jericho House and he decided to apply for a place there. I remember so vividly the day when I gave him a lift to Derby and was greeted at the door of a huge rambling building by Neil who told me to say ‘bye-bye’ and go! I drove away not knowing what to expect but, being realistic, probably a phone call to collect him before long! Actually though, from that point, as a family we never looked back. For all of us the day he went through those doors was a remarkable turning point. We gradually began to see a change, he put on weight, regained colour in his face (instead of that ghastly pasty white) and he started to laugh and smile. He was becoming the person we used to know again. It was so obvious that Jericho House was a place filled with love, guidance, discipline and hope. It was just lovely to visit regularly and each time to see an improvement. Every year the young men there took part in a play to perform to friends and relatives. The first time we attended one of these I was blown away, I have never known a situation when I have wanted to laugh so hard and cry so much at the same time. 

Four and a half years on from when our son entered Jericho House as a drug addict he’s been clean ever since. He is happy, healthy and works hard; he and his girlfriend are expecting their first baby shortly and I know they will make great parents. We are all blessed to be in a place which is so different from the one we were in a few years ago.

After a journey that took us from the horrors of addiction to where we are now I think back to the lads our son mentioned, the ones who used to turn up at meetings in their minibus. As it happens they were actually the Jericho boys; I am so happy to remind my son of what he said and proud of the fact that he eventually became one of them! Now as a healed family we can never thank the Jericho boys, all the volunteers, the staff and the late Brian enough for what they have done for us and for other families … for miracles.